If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
