ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
