nut hugger
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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