I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
