could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize