Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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