Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
