Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
