i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I didn't shave. On purpose
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
