We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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