break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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