the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
