If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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