..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
