she was so not down for the gang bang
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Vodka?
Forever.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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