Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Do vagina's smell?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
