I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
