Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
