So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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