I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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