I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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