Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
