Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just googled if crying burns calories
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
