I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
