I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
