If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize