just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
