I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize