Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
