Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Randomize
