You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
