Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
