I'm jealous of your bromance
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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