Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
