Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
