Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
did i just pee glitter
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
