I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
