I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
