tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
