it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
