dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
