Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize