Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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