Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
