i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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