Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize