She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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