Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
