Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
