My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't deserve a penis
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
