if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
