I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
