I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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