Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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