Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
When are your genitals available?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
