Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
