hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
