i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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